five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
