I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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