i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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