dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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