i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
