i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
