i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
