is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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