I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
