I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this will be a night to untag.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
