hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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