If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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