now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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