Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
