So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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