I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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