He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
