I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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