Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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