Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize