Please, let me fuck your mom
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
