good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
