Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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