don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize