biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
