Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom

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  (847): just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom http://tfl.nu/dq56
  Replies (12) Good night (948) Bad night (3857)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.

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  (561): Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like. http://tfl.nu/svkw
  Replies (42) Good night (2855) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He is like the real live version of the state fair..

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  (501): He is like the real live version of the state fair.. http://tfl.nu/cptf
  Replies (16) Good night (837) Bad night (2844)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to start having sex underwater more often.

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  (570): We need to start having sex underwater more often. http://tfl.nu/04ms
  Replies (19) Good night (5943) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  wtf

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?

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  (225): wtf (1-225): I'm guessing you saw the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/q0h6
  Replies (12) Good night (4351) Bad night (1538)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"

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  (202): He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!" http://tfl.nu/yfbj
  Replies (19) Good night (6693) Bad night (1386)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.

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  (409): The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens. http://tfl.nu/kai5
  Replies (44) Good night (3860) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan

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  (614): I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan http://tfl.nu/3du7
  Replies (3) Good night (2469) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point

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  (925): But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point http://tfl.nu/knq2
  Replies (5) Good night (1207) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.

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  (813): IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY. http://tfl.nu/73q8
  Replies (15) Good night (848) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing

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  (218): My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing http://tfl.nu/4jwd
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.

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  (570): I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned. http://tfl.nu/u9a7
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts

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  (203): I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts http://tfl.nu/mdva
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain

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  (561): But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain http://tfl.nu/nmgo
  Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES

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  (613): You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES http://tfl.nu/y1ws
  Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (158)

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