Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.

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  (405): I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat. http://tfl.nu/2u5h
  Replies (17) Good night (2633) Bad night (1044)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......

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  (651): I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me...... http://tfl.nu/ywt3
  Replies (72) Good night (1048) Bad night (5020)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records

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  (515): we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records http://tfl.nu/b40n
  Replies (23) Good night (4819) Bad night (722)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"

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  (970): I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983" http://tfl.nu/egdi
  Replies (31) Good night (1012) Bad night (5706)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.

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  (805): I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now. http://tfl.nu/p09l
  Replies (6) Good night (4452) Bad night (1491)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.

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  (602): I am NOT getting arrested in a wig. http://tfl.nu/5nul
  Replies (15) Good night (2677) Bad night (1098)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.

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  (305): Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns. http://tfl.nu/2g8z
  Replies (4) Good night (1531) Bad night (761)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.

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  (518): Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved. http://tfl.nu/9gud
  Replies (7) Good night (1989) Bad night (732)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?

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  (620): I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get? http://tfl.nu/ju2n
  Replies (7) Good night (597) Bad night (1259)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

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  (304): The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them http://tfl.nu/pyf8
  Replies (10) Good night (621) Bad night (1202)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant

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  (937): I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/spdi
  Replies (10) Good night (1295) Bad night (481)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.

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  (705): I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught. http://tfl.nu/csvp
  Replies (4) Good night (980) Bad night (445)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.

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  (423): I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time. http://tfl.nu/ysom
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (333)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket

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  (519): Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket http://tfl.nu/4d4u
  Replies (1) Good night (276) Bad night (335)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  you ever just feel like an organ is failing?

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  (703): you ever just feel like an organ is failing? http://tfl.nu/hlg5
  Replies (2) Good night (224) Bad night (219)

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