I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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