halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.