After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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