Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (301) Good night (102418) Bad night (6305)
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  (310): View more from California

  The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was

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  (310): The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was http://tfl.nu/84hp
  Replies (3) Good night (2451) Bad night (671)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"

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  (204): you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun" http://tfl.nu/u1ro
  Replies (34) Good night (7547) Bad night (1141)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.

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  (781): I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue. http://tfl.nu/4rks
  Replies (7) Good night (3683) Bad night (983)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow

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  (402): I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow http://tfl.nu/h8bi
  Replies (10) Good night (1731) Bad night (4239)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.

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  (765): I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it. http://tfl.nu/7uod
  Replies (9) Good night (1980) Bad night (636)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?

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  (918): It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar? http://tfl.nu/u4v8
  Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (1416)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

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  (412): Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently. http://tfl.nu/q1xe
  Replies (1) Good night (1029) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.

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  (401): I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you. http://tfl.nu/woyu
  Replies (7) Good night (895) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's hard to explain...

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  (330): We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar. (330): It's hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/5wi2
  Replies (6) Good night (688) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over

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  (202): just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over http://tfl.nu/f4tt
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.

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  (412): Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling. http://tfl.nu/npes
  Replies (11) Good night (1013) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.

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  (713): I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE. http://tfl.nu/cj44
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...

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  (609): You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright... http://tfl.nu/5odl
  Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.

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  (214): On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded. http://tfl.nu/gjfr
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (323)

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