I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.