i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We had to coat check the pizza.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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