Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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