are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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