On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
