If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
did you just send me my own nude
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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