I hate your face
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's always time for handjobs
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
