If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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