bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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