If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
