We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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