dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
