They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
