we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize