So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Did I show you my penis last night?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.