Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge