I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
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Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.