you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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