just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize