So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
