i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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