I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
