the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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