oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
