omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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