you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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