How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
