I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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