I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
