The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
