What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
