Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
