the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize