a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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