smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
