And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
