ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
