Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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