Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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