whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
