I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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